One year on.

Hi all me again. It’s been way too long. I’m not even going to make excuses or apologise. I’ve been living, recooperating, refamiliarising and some more. Granted I’m not the same as I was a year ago but I’m a new me. There’s no point dwelling on which bits of my body feel different and the fact that aches and pains have no pattern to when they occur and can emerge at any point. That’s kinda becoming the new norm to some extent and I am still healing so I’m not stressing about. I’m just not that patient. One thing this last year has taught me is that not everything does or can happen quickly and quite often it’s with good reason. I’ve had to slow down and managing personal expectations and physical capabilities and limitations has been a learning curve to say the least.

A year ago today I had my surgery. Check this out if (like me) you can’t believe it’s been a year. For me it could easily have been 3yrs. From a physical and mental health perspective here’s a summary of how I feel now and where I’m at.

Boobs:

• My boobs haven’t changed much from 6wks post op (see my boob diary here)
• My boobs continue to be painful (like a trapped nerve pain) particularly on the sides. Nerves are still reconnecting I get it, but chemo definitely made things a lot worse as I was healing pretty well until then.

Hair:

• Grey
• Curly
• Unruly
• Albert Einstein
• Getting unmanageable (I’m so rubbish with hair!)
• I can dye it in 2 weeks time – yay 😃
• I look like my Mum 😳 (who I love dearly but Mum your 30yrs older than me and you have great skin but this is not the look I’m going for 🤣)

Energy levels:

• I don’t have as much energy but this peaks and troughs.
• Getting back into running has been ridiculously frustrating. I’ve not yet hit the point where I feel I can run forever (if you run you’ll know what I mean)

Outlook:

• I’ve always remained positive. Counselling and family/friends reinforce
• I believe in the grand scheme of things I’ve done pretty well – it could have been way worse.

What’s new?

I appreciate it’s been a while since I last blogged (6 months!) but a lot has happened. Here are some of the main things:

– I attend regular counselling and do daily meditation 🧘‍♂️

– I’ve had my hair cut 😬 (more on this in a future blog)

– There’s a new member of the family 😍 Our Maz gave birth to baby Edward in May.

– I’ve joined the gym and now lift weights which is a first. Apparently I’m quite good at deadlifts?! Who knew? My Personal Trainer Emma is amazing and is helping to repair my damaged body bit by bit. She’s also a bit bonkers so right up my street 🏋️‍♂️ ( more on this in a future blog)

– I’ve been formally discharged 🤜🏻

– I can sleep on my stomach 😁

– Will went snowboarding after a year off last year 🏂

– I’ve been suffering with cognitive problems  (the main reason I’ve not been able to blog ☹️) which range from being slightly lightheaded to bad migraines. I’m also not good at reading words so haven’t read a book in over a year. I’m off for a head scan soon.

– I’ve been to Center Parcs twice – whoop!

– Our Clare has ran 10k 👏🏻

– My Team won a Hackathon at work to improve the level of patients who are involved in making key decisions 😁

– I’ve been to see John Grant, Elbow, Sister Act and Live@Leeds

– I’ve been to the cinema a lot

– I went to Our Cath’s supper club

– I’ve been to the Lakes for Our John’s 30th

– I went camping for Archie’s 4th birthday 😍

Big take aways from the past year:

• Life does and must go on. Live it!
• Family are precious. Never take them for granted.
• People generally do not know how to react around people who are ill – even people who you know well and love. I respect that and hold no grudges. People have their own lives too, are busy and have their own challenges. But don’t underestimate how powerful a simple text saying “x” is to someone who is ill. Show love.
• Resilience. One of the most powerful and important things you will need in life. Bring it!

Liz.

21 June 2018